start where you are



Actually, writing this initial post was supposed to be much easier than it has turned out to be. I have officially stared at a blank page over a week now.

{drums fingertips on mouse for eight millionth time}
So, rather than continue to stare and grow more and more anxious about whether the blinking curser may be causing irreparable eye damage, I shall dive right in, “stream-of-conscious” style. Wherever I am will surface, and the ice will be broken.

I think. At least that’s the plan.

where am i?

Literally:: Well, I am in California. Southern California, to be exact. Orange County, to be even more exact. (Um, please don’t hold that against me.) I am a transplant from the great Pacific Northwest, a true Seattle girl at heart, although I have now officially lived away from my hometown longer than in my hometown (22 versus 20 years). So, yep oh great mathematician that you are, that makes me 42.
Mentally:: I am in a great transitional phase mentally. That sounds rather odd, I realize, but that’s the best way to describe my evolution. I am 42, remember. That’s technically mid-life. And mid-life is rough, or at least it is for this old bird. It’s the shits to still wake up, halfway through your life, not knowing what the hell you are doing, where you want to go, what you want to do. What is my purpose? What is my true path? I’m working on it, but I’m such a total work in progress.
Physically:: Meh. Again, I’m a work in progress. I recently removed gluten from my diet, began exercising 3-4 times a week, practicing yoga twice per week, and visiting a masseuse every other week. I’ve lost 10 lbs. since the start of 2014. I can now fit into my wardrobe again after a 5 month downward slide of emotional eating paired with no physical activity whatsoever. I quit smoking exactly 381 days ago. After all this, you’d think I’d be more than “meh”. I should be all like “YAY ME! I’m fan-freaking-tastic!” But, alas, I am not. I suffer from chronic pain in my back, shoulders, neck, hips, legs, wrists, elbows, palms, fingers - every joint, bone, and muscle. Everywhere. Every. Single. Day.
Spiritually:: Yea, so let me get back to you on that one.
So folks, this is where I am today; in the present tense. Tomorrow I may or may not be in the same place. That’s why I am here. This little corner of the interwebs is mine to document my messy, real, honest and ongoing journey. I hope to connect with like-minded souls who want to share in this all-encompassing trip.

where are YOU today?