navigating dark, scary waters

I’m not sure if the confusion and lack of focus I am experiencing is what’s commonly referred to as “fibro fog”, or if I am just still in shock over the diagnosis. I’ve coursed through a wave of emotions in the past week; relief, shame, hope, self-pity, denial, anger, defiance (it literally took me 10 minutes to think of this word – stupid effing fog).
It’s one thing to have your body be a total wreck, but quite another to have your mind so far out in lala land that it’s downright SCARY.
·         What if this doesn’t go away?
·         How can I continue to work?
·         How will I function day-to-day?
·         What the hell is going on?
·         Is there a cure?
·         Is there a cause?
This is a scary, dark place to be. I truly wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry and sad you have to go through this. The road that got you here has been a long, painful and confusing one. Now you've been diagnosed at least you know what it is but that doesn't make the pain any less. I know you have a loving family to support you, though they never can really feel the pain they will always support you. I have been dealing with FM for over 14 years and i am mot the same person i was 14 years ago. I couldn't walk up or down the stairs 10 years ago and was in a dark place, hurt and confused. My FM is treating me good for awhile now and i can exercise multiple times a week without to much bother. I know it's easy to say but please keep your hopes up. I see you are a warrior but living with FM is getting to know your limits and accepting you have to take it easy at moments you found easy begore. Not every FM is the same and some of us have it really bad and i am very lucky. There will always be hope and there will always be people to each to..and of course there will always be PJ to help you get through hell and come back better than wishes dear